I don't have the world to give to you as a present

Hmm... seriously, I don't have the world to give to you as a present. But I do have a heart for you to keep.

It's that time of life when things got really hard for me. Yes, It is extremely hard. For a well-known person, successful some might call me, I am still a human being. I have a fair share of life. I am being attacked left, right, front, back and center. My hands are tied. I can't seem to move even for an inch, with the fear that I might fall from grace - not that I mind. But starting everything from scratch, that is just crazily impossible. I stepped into that zone already and I am going to brave it, as usual, as a fighter. But surviving: death is the future but living is god's will.

Right now I am at the edge of a sharp end. Right at the verge of jumping off the cliff, a hand pulled me back. I felt another hand moving slowly across my stomach pulling me closer to the warm body I was yet to know. He held me close then, really close that I could feel the breath on my bare shoulder. He then whispered: "Not yet. Not yet."

He held me there for a few moments. The wind from the sea below pushed through our entwinned physical. The spray of tiny droplets of the salt water settled on our body; light and gentle. It soothed me for awhile and I could tell that he closed his eyes as if he was destined to be there at the right time at the right moment to save me. I felt his heartbeat on my back. It was a mixture of fast and slow pace. Very hard to determine. He started to hum a song, to cool me down even more. Then, he said: "Don't do things you'll regret, it kills you know. I want you to be with me as long as the air is part of our body. Blood running through our vein," He then turned me around.

Slowly, I opened my eyes. "I don't have the world to give to you as a present but I do have my heart for you to keep. Stay with me, for better or worse, I'll promise, my better future will come soon and its for us to share,"

I LOVE YOU.

Love,
Jess.